Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Dating a Porn Star

Would you? A common question I ask amongst my male friends, and my answer is, I would. I would totally date a porn star. But not just any porn star, but Tori Black. Maybe Stoya as well because she fill my archetype of the type of female I am attracted to, but more specifically Tori Black. Why her you ask? Because Tori Black does not look like your normal porn star. You might be able to find a handful of women in the industry that don't look like your average porn star, but you might not find one that looks like she belongs in the Miss USA pageant.

Tori Black is gorgeous. She is a terrific performer, yes I say performer, and if she wasn't in this specific area of film, she could do Hollywood film based on her looks alone. There are plenty of A-list actresses getting by on their looks alone (Megan Fox), so I don't see where the argument should be if she could act or not. The mass majority of people would find Tori Black attractive, even if they knew what her profession was. Her beauty has you look passed what she's doing.

Jeff Koons was married to a porn star and he put out some of his best work at the time. Her fucking other dudes on camera had no effect on the work he put out. She was his muse. I'm not saying I would date Tori Black for my own personal goals, but it would be nice to have my own personal Venus de Milo. But a hotter one. Andy Warhol's muse was a whore (Edie Sedgewick), she was boning Bob Dylan, and that effected him. (Now while that might not be 100% true, based on the movie Factory Girl, he was all pissy about it). Why because her fucking wasn't emotionally detached. Which lays out the most important thing about dating a pornstar.

All the fucking that they do is emotionally detached. And it's not like they are fucking EVERYDAY. They fly out to L.A., home of the porn, shoot three scenes, make three thousand smackers, and go back home and chill. Granted they might do that 3 to four times a month, but still, it's not EVERYDAY. Plus, the guys in porn are slim, it's not like she's fucking every John Doe who manages to keep it up for 20+ minutes. It's strictly business. Beej here, missionary, doggy, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, sideways and money shot. No intimacy, no nothing. And because she's a performer, it's not like she MEANS the things she says like "fuck my pussy harder" or "I love your big dick in me". It's all a front.

The other thing about Tori Black is that she's no racist. I've seen her bang plenty of black dudes in her earlier days, so it's not like she has anything against skin color. I'm brown, might not be hung like Cockzilla, but still, there is a slight hope that she might be attracted to me as well. They say that when you do interracial, you're not worth as much in the porn industry, but in my heart you are. In my heart, you are. So what she's been impaled worse than some of Vlad the Impaler's foes. So what if her eyes get wide at the sight of an 8 inch soft wiener. Wouldn't yours? It's all business.

Dating a porn star, you know they are about the emotional aspect of it as well. They aren't dating you because you are ripped and have a big schlong. They get those dudes during their 9-5. The time they are with you is for the emotional and mental comforting. And it's not like they WON'T fuck you. They probably will, and it will mean more because the love is there. You know? That emotional chemistry. For once during their week, they can have normal sex. They don't need to take a giant load to the face. And they'll be glad that the sex doesn't have to last more than 15 minutes to meet a time goal. But it's all emotional. She might fuck other dudes but it's not cheating. Plus if you knew she was fucking other dudes before you started dating her, it wouldn't be cheating anyway. It's when she gets an emotional attraction to someone else is when she's cheating. See Cyclops and Emma Frost.

But back to Tori Black. She's amazing to look at, has a killer smile, and a body to die for. So what if she might get implants down the line. She'd be doing it to reach a broader audience. And because she's a porn star, she'll mainly be recognized by guys, and because she's not in the Hollywood business it's not like she would be recognized right away. So you wouldn't have to worry about getting too much attention when you are out with her. And what I'd keep in mind is that just because she fucks a lot on camera, doesn't mean she'd fuck any dude off camera. So worrying about attractive dudes trying to scoop her up at a bar would be silly. She gets paid to get with guys like that, why would she do it for free? Plus I have an amazing personality, I don't see why a girl would want to leave that for some dude who looks like a guy she works with.

I mean just look at that smile. How can that not make your heart melt?


Look at that body. Granted I am not a big fan of the decal on the bath suit, it's not what I'm ONLY paying attention too.


She cleans up well. This might not be your prototypical dress you'd see during the evening gown section of the Miss USA pageant, but you know if she wanted to, she could KILL it.


Oh she fucks on camera for a living? Looks like your average college student to me.


Tori Black is also my age and 3 months younger than me. So what she's 21 and doing porn. When did you start having sex? So what she's fucked a lot of guys. How many girls do you know that have fucked a lot of guys, and not for professional reasons either? She's good at what she does. She seems like she'd be a terrific date, and that I could make her laugh. Oh she was also 2010 AVN Female Performer of the Year. If it so happens she wants to give you more than just your regular love making, she could give you the time of your life. AND I'd be able to be her date to next years AVNs. People would be like "Damn Alan, you got the hottest porn star girlfriend". and I'd be like, "Thanks, bro".

Miss Black, I salute you. And if by some chance you google your name and this blog post comes up and you read it. Shoot me an e-mail. I live close to NYC which is better than L.A. anyway, and I wouldn't mind at all accompanying you to L.A. to shoot any scenes. I think you're swell.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Last Night's Party

Once you've seen one Merlin Bronques' photo you've seen them all right? He seems to be THE party photographer, not taking anything away from Driven By Boredom. Bronques photos go beyond the NYC hipster night life and into cities all over the world. Granted they might all be the same photo different person, but there is something about it that makes me keep checking his site out.

I for one am more of a fan of his Drive-By series where it is shot with film, and granted they look like everything Terry Richardson will shoot, there is something still alluring about it. Maybe it's the titties, maybe it's the choice of his emaciated models. I don't know. But when I look at the titties I see coming from Driven By Boredom, or any party photo site for that matter, I think trash. Not like purposely done trash, but trying to avoid looking trashy trash. Meanwhile Bronque stuff looks a little more raw, like he's aware of the trashiness, but because of some of the natural light, he's aware that it won't be TOO trashy. I like titties by the way.

He's probably aware of the skills and techniques of photography, but with his style he knows that he doesn't need it. I really can't get over his Drive-By Series. My favorite one is this. Maybe it's the fact that in part of the series, he has the nude model just kind of show off her lack of, or small breasts in a New York City street, or maybe because both parties don't really care. I'm not sure.

I've also noticed that once my blogs reach a certain point, and I haven't made my point yet, I get tired and start rushing it. Whatever. I would have posted some of the pix as an example, fuck it. I just will. These aren't my photos.

LastNightsParty.com

Monday, January 25, 2010

Put it away, Pharrell

I for one am all about the mustache. I think the black man looks good with a mustache. There are certain things that black men can pull off that no one else really can. That is a bald head (see Michael Jordan) and a mustache (see Carl Weathers).

Pharrell has been praised for his style/fashion choices. I might not be a fan of his clothing line, but sometimes I'll see decent pieces and I'll even have to give it up to him. Now there is nothing wrong with what he's wearing, but once you see his shoes, you'd agree with me that there are certain things that even a black man can't pull off. Moon boots.

I mean, moon boots are cool if you are a Hot Topic frequenter, you attend raves and have a plurspace. But other than that, moon boots are never cool. You're not Napoleon Dynamite. You know what. fuck it. I can't even talk about this anymore. I'm just disgusted that Pharrell ruined a decent outfit with atrocity on his feet. He should know that shoes can definitely make or break an outfit. In this case, over and over and over and over again, no matter who you are. It definitely breaks.


Photos from Hypebeast, by Karl Hab.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Mister Mort is better than The Sartorialist

The link to his website is on the right hand side.

I'm not writing this blog because he happens to be a friend of my brother, or because I am trying to get into his good graces. I am writing it because his stuff is better than that of the Sartorialist. Now while they may photography two different things, essentially they are all the same. Mr. Scott Schuman goes around taking pictures of what he perceives to be very well-dressed people. Mister Mort goes around and takes pictures of people with great articles of clothing on. The beauty of Mister Mort's models is that they are usually old dudes, and we all know that old dudes wear the sickest shit. For instance, this old dude. He looks like an Old Sherlock Holmes still kickin' it. I mean I could only hope to dress well as this dude. And if I did, it would because I would have bought his stuff from the local Goodwill store after his passing.


A long time ago the Sartorialist used to take pictures of cool people in New York City. Suddenly, homeboy is the biggest thing since sliced bread and he's off in Australia taking pictures of people in swimming trunks that us people here in the cold could give two shits about. It's like, "Cool bro, we have hundreds of people g'd up from the feet up and here you are taking pictures of half naked men and women proclaiming that they are dressed well". That's what made me sick. Everyone knows that fall and winter are the best times to dress because of the different ways of layering. But there that dick is taking pictures of people half naked.

Another thing that I used to admire the Sartorialist for during my naive days was thinking that his photos were merely just like "Hey can I take a picture of you"? Kanye West ruined that for me when he was like "I never had someone take a picture of me and tell me to pose a better way for lighting". This is coming from Kanye West who's posed for magazines a million times before. What an idiot. And another thing. The Sartorialist goes and takes pictures of celebrities like Kanye West. Of course Kanye West dresses well. With the money he has he can have TWO stylists.

But back to Mister Mort. I like the way he goes about things because dude sees articles of clothing people are wearing and seems to be like "yo I like your sweater, can I take a picture of it"? And from what I've heard he doesn't carry around a Canon 5D and ask people to walk around a building for a better lit shot. I men nice and simple is the key. Runways and fashion magazines make for the nicely lit shot. The streets is where it's supposed to look casual, candid and chill. I digress though. The article of clothing stuff. For example,this sweater.

If you just go on MisterMort.com you'll agree with me. The photos he takes is just like "yo picture"? and they almost always seem to be normal people, or just people with the illest shit on that makes you want to go thrifting to find at least one of the pieces you saw on the website. Hell, it might even make you want to kill your old man just to inherit his clothing collection. But my favorite is the perceived realness of the photos and how the people wear and look in the clothing.

Look at this guy, if I didn't know any better I would think he was a bum, the clothing rack in the back makes me think otherwise, but it doesn't take away from what the dude is wearing. If homie was in Washington Square Park I would think he was a bum. The best dressed bum I have seen in my life. There seems to be nothing really sartorial about him at all, just a dude wearing what he likes photographed by someone who appreciates the article of clothing.

Mister Mort, if you're reading this. The Sartorialist sucks and your website is better and more interesting than his. Even if you don't update as frequently.

And on a plus side, homie has me wanting to wear camo pants again.

*pictures from http://www.mistermort.com

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Can't be taken seriously with a point and shoot

Now I understand that Mr. Terry Richardson has been making a career off of point and shoot photo ads for major magazines and clothing lines, but I am not Terry Richardson. This isn't an angsty blog about how people won't respond when I try out my party pictures with a point and shoot instead of a DSLR. This is a blog about how people respond better when they have 3 pounds of metal and plastic pointed and focused in their face.

Bringing around my camera has lead me to meet some of my closest friends but when I bring out my camera, I can't do what everyone else is doing. Getting completely trashed. So when I put it away, I went for something more conventional and brought around a smaller, more convenient Canon point and shoot. Needless to say, aesthetically I got the same results as every other party photographer, but when it came to photographing strangers at parties, I would get less of a response.

Point and shoots are pretty intimate. Regular people carry them around and at parties they take pictures of their own friends. Not strangers or anything else, but the group of people they are with. I found this happening to me, and it's a good way to organize my night, and piece certain things together, but my bigger camera was what lead to my "popularity". Well, at least given in the "hipster" sub-culture in New Brunswick.

Now I'm thinking, "maybe I can just start bringing around my weight again", but I'm also graduating, and I don't want to worry about damaging my equipment, and I don't want to be just like everyone else at parties in New York. So what might be the next best thing?
The Canon G10. Fuck the G10. I like resolution. I want to see every single pixel. I don't care for high ISO or a swivel screen. Plus I'll probably but a flash on this bad boy. Now this all requires money. But the G10 isn't your normal point and shoot. It has manual controls, which I love, AND it has a hot shoe for flashes. A flash alone on the camera makes it serious, and people will be more responsive to me taking pictures. Plus it will scores some points with minor originality. I know people walk around with their G10 and take party pix, but they go about it the dumb way and have stupid lens converters on them. With the wide angle and telezoom on this bad boy you don't need any stupid converters.

All I'll need is this, a used canon speedlite and then I'll be good. I can put it around my neck or in my pocket. I don't have to worry about people spilling beer on it and I can leave my workhorse of a camera home for studio shit, or when I'm going out with the INTENT to shoot. but in the mean time, I could just lug the G10 around and use that for random moments or parties. Done.

Maybe you're thinking "But Alan, isn't the Canon S90 a lot smaller and more convenient and have the same manual controls as the G10"? Yes. But the hot shoe plays the biggest part in the party photog scene. The S90, while it is a superior camera in terms of convenience, it lacks the strobing versatility that the G series offers. They are both the same price, and I can so SO much further with the G10 in terms of what I want to do. So there you have it.

This doesn't mean I don't love my Nikon DSLR, I just don't want motherfuckers "accidently" getting their booze all up in the nooks and crannies of it. And Canon makes better pocket size cameras anyway. I still love you though , Nikon.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Update On The Photo Front

I really should start planning out my photo shoots instead of just snapping pictures. But I'm more about energy and less about concept I guess. These are just two of my more recent ones.

flickr.com/alanedward

Friday, January 15, 2010

Twilight

I have never watched the movies, nor do I have any plans of watching them in the future, I just have a crush on one particular female in the series. She plays the glittery Ed Cullen's sister, I don't know her character's name but I know she is Ashley Greene. I know this not by the movies, again. I know this because of the wonderful thing called the internet and the wonderful invention of webcams.

Ashley Greene got a little too trustworthy with on ichat and decided to send her n00dz or I guess dance n00d. But anyway, they got out. I'm not here to show you what her tits and airgina look like, you can do that yourself. I'm here to simply talk about my appreciation for the physical aesthetics of this woman. Now I've seen how they did her up in Twilight and can I add that they made her look like an asshole. I mean she's still gorgeous though, but she looks like a complete dickhead. Fuck the costume director of that movie.

I don't care that her septum looks deviated all to hell, there is something about her. She is like a youthful Kate Moss or something. But enough of my banter. I think this photo is from Interview Magazine. Andy Warhol does something right even in his grave.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Lets Talk Awesome

And by awesome, I mean this vest.


This isn't Mary McFly's vest. It is my dad's. From possibly way before he had kids. I just got off the phone with him and asked him it's age and he said possibly late 70's or early 80's. He owns a lot of clothes and he's getting old so it's understandable that he doesn't know how old it is anymore, but still. Of all the great things I have taken from my dad that no longer fits him, this is the best.

I remember when I first discovered it in high school, I had no idea what to wear it with. It didn't seem to match with anything I owned so my appreciation for it was never really there. I'm not saying Back to the Future started anything with it, but as my style has changed, I've learned to value it more. It's so sick really. Sometimes I'll just want to wear it while laying in bed or washing dishes. It's so cool. And to me it doesn't seem novelty at all, and I know I'm not gonna see some turd on Lafayette Street rockin' the same thing. Even though I don't care about exclusivity and all, it's just nice to know that I'm the only bad mother fucker in SoHo.

Anyway, this piece is awesome, and of course I'm gonna rock it like Marty McFly with the denim jacket under it. Wouldn't you? I need some new booths with this mother fucker though.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Class of 2010

It's finally sinking in that when I return to school for the Spring 2010 semester that it will be my last semester of my collegiate life. It is kind of surreal, you know? Honestly, I can remember the day I first stepped foot on campus. My girlfriend at the time had just been picked up by her parents around 10pm the day before and I was so nervous that I didn't sleep at all. I paced up and down my block chain smoking whatever cigarettes I had bummed off of people. I was all packed up in an assortment of cardboard boxes and giant black garbage bags.

To think that in the Fall of 2006 I was a freshmen and that in the Spring of 2010 I will be leave really scares me. I understand that four years isn't a lot, but in those four years two of my favorite sports teams won the championship in their respective leagues, and I saw a black man become president. Never in my life could I have dreamed the things that have occurred in college. If you told me when I was graduating high school the things that I would do when I got to college, I would have laughed in your face. It's amazing how much has happened in 1,460 days. The people I've met, the relationships I have built have made more of a lasting impression then those that I had in high school.

The adult world scares me. I won't have health insurance, I might not be able to find a stable job, and I'll be away from the people that I have become close with. Granted I am not that far away, but I am not as easily accessible as I am currently. I can say that I'm scared. I am not trying to hide anything. But I will not let me being scared effect how I go about my life. Maybe scared might not be the best word to use, intimidated is better. If I can kick down the door to the real world like I did college, I will be fine. I'm banking on it. I trust myself to be able to do it. Four years felt like an eternity, but I have to say what's up to the rest of my life.